Relationships

WHY DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?

November 3, 2016

WHY DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIEDimages

1. Why do you want to get married? You are ready for marriage ba? What makes you think you are?
2. Your Age? job? character? time? religion? Rite of passage? You have fallen in love?
3. Or you have met the perfect person who can cope with all you warts and all?
4. While you are sure you love this person today, there is no guarantee you will love that person tomorrow.
5. I repeat, there is no guarantee you will love that person tomorrow. There is no guarantee that person will
love you too
6. You know why? Life happens. Responsibilities, children, family, work, Finances, you yourself.
7. I am never going to change. He is not going to change. Yinmu. People change. Why? Life happens
8. How does a couple go from “I will love you now and forever” to “irreconcilable differences”. Life.
9. It doesn’t mean the love suddenly died. The death of the love was slow and gradual.
10. Marriage is in phases. Each marriage is unique. There is no one size fits all approach. You are going to need to find what works for you
11. Finding what works for you is crucial especially here in Nigeria where we don’t share the true details of our marriages.
12. That a man is a good fiance does not mean he will be a good husband and father. Same goes for the woman
13. There are 5 major landmines in marriage. Occasionally, chores make it 6. Sex, Finances, Children,Careers and the Extended family
14. All this landmines are resolved via communication. That is why communication is key. COMMUNICATION IS KEY.
15. Sex. This is a biological need. Orgasms are good. However, we have different sexual needs. Sex can be taught and it can be learnt.
16. Do you know your wife’s body? How well do you know your husband’s body? Communicate
17. FINANCES. Someone said here on twitter that a broke man should not be found snoring. It is not funny. Finances can make or mar
18. Why do we work? Fulfilment abi? Or money? Never loom for money at the detriment of your family and your health.
19. However, money gives you options. Having a joint purse with good financial planning helps you as a couple and it makes your lives easier
20. A joint purse does not necessarily mean a joint account. But clarity of purpose in how you spend as a couple helps.
21. Children. How do you want your children to be raised? Do you have different ideologies about some things? Let your children not know
22. Children are smart. The father will be offended when a child does with permission from the other parent what he does not like. Communicate
23. Careers. When children are not involved, it is easy for both parties to hold jobs that involve travelling. After a while, things change
24. Who withdraws to take care of the children? The man or the woman? This is delicate.

i-love-you
25. Marriage is easier when both parties develop together

26. Wife cannot be a professor and husband a SSCE holder. Sooner or later, there will be issues. Grow together. Communicate
27. Extended family. This one is dependent on both of you. How much influence does your extended family exert on your marriage? Watch it
28. Chores. Cooking, washing clothes, cleaning the house, etc. Sit down and discuss this. If you can afford it, outsource biko nu
29. Finally, you need God. You also need to be smart. God help us all.
30. P. S. Never shrink yourself for anybody because you want to marry. It does not end well.

Go forth and prosper
‘Lade

RANDOM MUSINGS

HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY ‘ADULT’

October 13, 2016

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Start early. Everything you do from childhood is setting you up for adulthood. Be it schooling or learning a trade
Be diligent. Class of degree matters a lot in Nigeria.  It can open doors for you. That 2.1 might be your ace. Know your trade inside out.
Network.  Popularly called connection. Can get you that dream job. Be sharp.
Your parents have been around longer than you.  There is nothing wrong in using their connections o.  Don’t let pride kill you.
You need God. Pray. Work hard. Trust God
Differentiate between wants and needs.  That you can buy it does not necessarily mean you can afford it.
Avoid peer pressure.  I cannot afford it no be crime.  Your life is different from your friends.
As much as possible, live within your needs.  It lessens the strain on your pockets. Continue Reading…

RANDOM MUSINGS

OF EXTRA INCOMES

September 26, 2016

Some weeks ago, I made Ogi from scratch. In the process, a weird line of thought crossed my mind.  A lot of us pray for multiple income streams but we already have skills we are not using to make any income.  Primarily because we never thought of the skills as money making or because they are not ‘white collar skills’.

Maybe we are lazy or indisciplined now. I had catered to a party with Ofada and stew before.  I can make ogi from scratch    . Yellow ogi, red one or white, corn or sorghum. I make akara quite well too. These are legit money making ventures. Do you know how many families survive well on Ogi sales alone? Continue Reading…

RANDOM MUSINGS

A NIGERIAN HAS NO NAME

September 26, 2016

A Nigerian will go to China, import substandard goods that will kill people and go scot free.  A Nigerian will go to India, import substandard drugs, sell at high rates, people will buy, use and die, nothing will happen.

A Nigerian politician will see monorail in other countries, get money allocated for it and abandon it halfway, no shaking.  A Nigerian will open a hospital without proper documentation, treat people, kill some and still go scot free. No lele.

A Nigerian will boldly misappropriate pension funds; some pensioners will die like fowls queuing like fowls for their money, yet we dey.  A Nigerian will chop funds meant for roads, plenty people will die/become physically challenged, yet nothing go shele. Continue Reading…

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