1. Why do you want to get married? You are ready for marriage ba? What makes you think you are?
2. Your Age? job? character? time? religion? Rite of passage? You have fallen in love?
3. Or you have met the perfect person who can cope with all you warts and all?
4. While you are sure you love this person today, there is no guarantee you will love that person tomorrow.
5. I repeat, there is no guarantee you will love that person tomorrow. There is no guarantee that person will
love you too
6. You know why? Life happens. Responsibilities, children, family, work, Finances, you yourself.
7. I am never going to change. He is not going to change. Yinmu. People change. Why? Life happens
8. How does a couple go from “I will love you now and forever” to “irreconcilable differences”. Life.
9. It doesn’t mean the love suddenly died. The death of the love was slow and gradual.
10. Marriage is in phases. Each marriage is unique. There is no one size fits all approach. You are going to need to find what works for you
11. Finding what works for you is crucial especially here in Nigeria where we don’t share the true details of our marriages.
12. That a man is a good fiance does not mean he will be a good husband and father. Same goes for the woman
13. There are 5 major landmines in marriage. Occasionally, chores make it 6. Sex, Finances, Children,Careers and the Extended family
14. All this landmines are resolved via communication. That is why communication is key. COMMUNICATION IS KEY.
15. Sex. This is a biological need. Orgasms are good. However, we have different sexual needs. Sex can be taught and it can be learnt.
16. Do you know your wife’s body? How well do you know your husband’s body? Communicate
17. FINANCES. Someone said here on twitter that a broke man should not be found snoring. It is not funny. Finances can make or mar
18. Why do we work? Fulfilment abi? Or money? Never loom for money at the detriment of your family and your health.
19. However, money gives you options. Having a joint purse with good financial planning helps you as a couple and it makes your lives easier
20. A joint purse does not necessarily mean a joint account. But clarity of purpose in how you spend as a couple helps.
21. Children. How do you want your children to be raised? Do you have different ideologies about some things? Let your children not know
22. Children are smart. The father will be offended when a child does with permission from the other parent what he does not like. Communicate
23. Careers. When children are not involved, it is easy for both parties to hold jobs that involve travelling. After a while, things change
24. Who withdraws to take care of the children? The man or the woman? This is delicate.
26. Wife cannot be a professor and husband a SSCE holder. Sooner or later, there will be issues. Grow together. Communicate
27. Extended family. This one is dependent on both of you. How much influence does your extended family exert on your marriage? Watch it
28. Chores. Cooking, washing clothes, cleaning the house, etc. Sit down and discuss this. If you can afford it, outsource biko nu
29. Finally, you need God. You also need to be smart. God help us all.
30. P. S. Never shrink yourself for anybody because you want to marry. It does not end well.
Go forth and prosper